A tribute to my mom as she celebrates her eighth decade

This past Friday evening my family gathered at the Hubbell House in Mantorville, MN to celebrate my mom’s 80^th birthday.  The date of her birthday is in January.  She’ll be in Arizona with my dad then, so my family celebrated her birthday early.

I can’t help but share some of her story as she closes in on completing the eighth decade of life.  Here’s to you Jackie (Jacqueline) Ann Moore! 

She grew up on a small dairy farm outside of Mantorville.  As a child she walked about a mile or so to a one-room school house.  She’s the oldest of three.  She was surrounded by family on both her mom and dad’s side.

She met my dad at Mankato State, got her degree in elementary education, got married and began her life as an elementary teacher in Paullina, Iowa.  Female teachers couldn’t teach while being pregnant (someone explain the logic of that), so she stayed home to be with Pam, my younger sister, and me.

My dad took a teaching job at the Junior College in Worthington, so my family moved there.  Her life revolved around faith, family, friends, and the community.  It was a good life.

The two of them decided to move to Kansas City as my dad took a sabbatical in the early 1970s to help out Cross-Lines, a social service agency in the inner-city.  One of her many tasks was to be in charge of an emergency food shelf.  I remember driving with her to take food to people living in what we called, “the projects.”  She was a long way from the rural life of Mantorville. 

She went back to school when we came back from Kansas City to get more education.  She taught children with learning disabilities in the Worthington School District until she retired.

I’ve said often that the best way to be a parent is to have a strong marriage.  She has successfully traveled that journey with love for my dad for the past 57 years.  I don’t remember seeing my parents arguing until I was in college.  Their marriage was like the quality of the prairie grass—deep-rooted, strong, and connected.

As a parent I never questioned her love for me.  If someone had asked me as a child if my mom loved me I wouldn’t have understood the question.  I didn’t know it was possible for a parent not to love their children.  She gave my sister and I the freedom to be ourselves.  When we expressed interest in something she and my dad would do all they could to help us be successful.   

And she showed up.  I can’t remember her or my dad ever missing a music concert, sporting event or any other ceremony that involved my sister and me.

Her parenting touch naturally moved into her being a grandparent.  This past Friday her grandchildren shared stories of “Grandma camp.”  Every year for a number of years she and my dad would take their four grandkids and go on an adventure.  On Friday we heard stories of adventures to the headwaters of the Mississippi River, going to the zoo in Omaha, traveling to Missouri to visit a college, and camping in the backyard of their home. 

If I was limited to one word to describe my mom that word would be “determined.”  That quality came out in a family story that I’ve shared often.  A local builder wanted to put apartments in the neighborhood where my family lived.  Since our neighborhood was filled with kids my mom was concerned about the amount of traffic that would ensue.  She went by herself to talk to the City Council about her concerns.  I remember her coming home from that meeting.  “I don’t think I made any friends tonight,” she said.  She had told the men on the City Council what she thought.  The editor of the local newspaper didn’t like that she was questioning what was happening.  She and my dad owned apartments in another part of town.  The headline of the paper read something like, “apartment owner questioned apartments.”  The patriarchy of the town wasn’t pleased with this determined woman—my mom. 

Her example of determination far outlasted the response of the men of Worthington.

I know I can speak for my sister in saying it’s a privilege to have you as our mom, Jaqueline Ann Moore.  We love you!  Thanks for being everything that two children would ever need!

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Making an Impact on Vulnerable Youth through School Partnerships

In this season of thanks allow me to give thanks for the partnerships that Chain of Lakes has developed with three schools in the Anoka-Hennepin School District.  Those schools are Blaine High School, Anoka Regional High School, and Anoka Technical School.  I’m especially thankful this week because Chain of Lakes was recognized for our partnership with Blaine High School this past Monday at a ceremony at the Anoka-Hennepin District office. A video of the ceremony is here: https://www.facebook.com/chainoflakeschurch/?ref=bookmarks.  Check the video tab on the page to find the video.

These partnerships come out of some core principles that the Local Mission Team at Chain of Lakes has established.  These principles are: 1) We want to help vulnerable youth; 2) We do this through relationships with people, partners, who are in direct contact with vulnerable youth; 3) We listen  closely to the needs that the partners tell us exist; We respond to these identified needs in a exceedingly generous way.

The Local Mission Team of Chain of Lakes has gone out of our way to build relationships and a partnership with a staff person at each of these three high schools. We try to meet with that staff person at least once every sixty days. When we meet with them we ask repeatedly—what are the needs that you are seeing, and how can we help.

The mistake that churches can sometimes make in a partnership is the church wants to establish the needs.  People in the church might have an idea for something that we think would help.  But because that idea might not be meeting a need, that idea—which can lead to a lot of passion—ultimately might not make an impact.

Chain of Lakes Church has developed a separate tab on our web site that shares the specifics of what our congregation has done over the past five years in these partnerships. Looking at this web page makes my heart fill with joy. The site is here: http://www.colpres.org/homeless-youth/

The relationship between Chain of Lakes Church and Blaine High School is the longest relationship that Chain of Lakes has.  It started with a phone call to Robin Burge-Ross who at the time was the Social Worker at the school. We asked how we could help. She said she had a huge need for Christmas gift baskets for youth in the school. We said we would get to work.  Ultimately the people of Chain of Lakes provided a large number of Christmas gift baskets. A partnership was developed. We started meeting with Robin about every month. Trust was developed. From that trust everyone’s imaginations took hold. 

In these conversations we talked about having a Box City where youth from Blaine High School would experience homelessness. The students would sleep in a box on the tennis courts and then go to school the next day. Chain of Lakes would provide the boxes, the porta potty, adult volunteers, and find speakers for a program. An organizing team made up of reps from the Outdoor Adventure Club from the school and folks from Chain of Lakes was developed.  We have grown to trust each other.  Box City has developed where the team organizing the event only met three or four times in organizing this past year's event.  I didn’t attend a meeting. The event was the best ever. The Blaine High School choir took a collection for HOPE 4 Youth during their concert that took place on the night of Box City. They collected $5,000.

Some might wonder if a partnership between a church and a school violates the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.  Our partnerships do not. The primary purpose of the partnership is not to bring youth or adults to Christ or to Chain of Lakes. We don’t talk about our faith unless we are asked.  We don't hide from our faith and have had people connect to Chain of Lakes.  The connection was initiated by the person who came.  Ultimately we believe through our actions we are sharing the heart of Jesus.  We're sharing ourselves in a non-imposing way.

The partnership between Chain of Lakes and Anoka Regional High School and Anoka Technical High School are the same way. The people of the Local Mission Team have developed a relationship with the Social worker of each school. We try to meet with that person at least once every sixty days. When we meet with them we always ask the question, “How can we help?”

Some might wonder how Chain of Lakes can support three partnerships while also helping HOPE 4 Youth. Chain of Lakes was awarded the faith partner of the year award by HOPE 4 Youth in 2017. For me it comes back to the generous heart of the people of Chain of Lakes. The people of Chain of Lakes want to make an impact.  We've developed a "whatever it takes attitude" in overcoming the inevitable obstacles that develop.  We publicize the needs of each of the three schools on consecutive months.  Then we make the case to the people of Chain of Lakes about why their support is so important. The people have always responded.  

If someone asks me if Chain of Lakes is doing “too much,” I gently respond with, “it’s not possible to help a vulnerable youth(s) too much."  When we ask for food or money from the people at Chain of Lakes we always say that people have the freedom to make their own decisions. 

And frankly if we error, I’d rather that we error on the side of giving too much compared to too little.

In this season of Thanksgiving, I want to encourage all churches to develop a partnership with a school. The rewards are so high and the impact on a vulnerable youth is immeasurable.

The Unchurching of America

Yesterday the Star Tribune continued its occasional series called, “The Unchurching of America.” Jean Hoffensperger wrote an article about the religious “Nones.” These are people who don’t belong to any religion.  They don’t believe in God or don’t believe in the church or are not connected to a church.  Hoffensperger wrote that “the share of adults who identify as “none” has more than doubled since the 1990s—to 56 million and climbing.” The article can be read here: http://www.startribune.com/fastest-growing-religion-in-minnesota-the-nation-is-none/498664191/  

Like other articles in this series, it has prompted plenty of comments.  As I write this blog, 595 people have shared some sort of comment on the Star Tribune web site. 

Jean Hoffensperger is certainly doing a service to religious people by writing this series. I responded to her first article written this past July in this blog, https://chainlink-chainoflakesncd.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-unchurching-of-america.html  I do quibble with the headline of the article (“Fastest Growing Religion is ‘None”) as by definition someone not attached to a religion cannot be defined as part of a religion.  

Religious leaders like me must address the issues that Hoffernsperger has written about in this series.  As someone who helped lead the redevelopment of one Presbyterian church and has helped lead the start of a new Presbyterian church practically from scratch, I live and breathe these issues.   The reality of religious “Nones” is not new to those of us in religious leadership.  The challenge is how to connect to this group of people from a faith-based perspective. 

Despite the rise of religious “Nones” good news does exist.  The good news is that God has not changed, the message of Jesus hasn’t changed, and I would even argue that the spiritual quest for “something out there” has not changed.  By definition most humans are searching for something. 

In the article Hoffensperger shared vignettes about four people who are part of the religious “Nones.” In reading their stories, I came to see that none of them shared that “something out there” doesn’t exist. All of them had some sort of experience in church. Each of them could be described as spiritual, but not religious. 

On my Facebook page last Sunday I shared six critiques of the church by young people not affiliated with a church that David Kinnaman identified in his book “Unchristian.”  Those critiques from “un-churched” young people were the church is 1) Antihomosexual; 2) Judgmental; 3) Hypocritical; 4) Old-fashioned; 5) Too involved in politics; 6) Out of touch with reality.  A robust debate broke out on my Facebook page when I lifted up these critiques.  I’m guessing that the four persons highlighted in Hoffensperger’s article would identify with these six.

Put overly simply, one way for congregations to connect with people is not to reflect these six  critiques that Kinnaman identified. 

Another way to respond is for local congregations to work hard at adapting.  This past Saturday the leaders of Chain of Lakes Church, the community I serve, spent most of the day making plans for the upcoming year.  We spent significant time vigorously talking about how to connect with the wider community.  We’ve already decided that most of our first-phase building will be a high-school sized gym.  We plan on breaking ground in March 2020.  The plans we developed this past Saturday for reaching the community in 2019 were innovative.  I wouldn’t have dreamed them up myself.  .

Congregations have done a terrible job of adapting our message to the changing attitudes of the wider culture.  Recently I walked into a congregation where I spent a lot of time in my youth.  That building was almost the same as it was 30 years ago. The music was played on the same organ; the hymn book was practically the same. The pews were the same as they were 50 years ago.  The sanctuary has stayed the same while the culture has changed dramatically.

Businesses have always understood the importance of adaptation. While on the Star Tribune web site this morning, I read an article about Toyota & Pizza Hut collaborating on a pick-up truck that would cook pizza while the pizza is being delivered.  The link is here: http://www.startribune.com/toyota-to-help-pizza-hut-cook-on-the-run/499992021/  The idea sounds a bit “out there” to me, but these businesses have identified the need to adapt.

I also believe that part of the frustration among the religious “Nones” is the perception that the Catholic Church did not adequately respond to the sexual abuse crisis.  I attend a small group of lay people from my wife’s Catholic church.  This group repeatedly shares frustration about the Catholic Church’s unwillingness to change.  Too much power was placed with too few people.  This group wants to see change within the church they love.  They are frustrated by the lack of options for change that they perceive they have. 

The Pew Research Study recently did a study of people who attend church.  They essentially asked what they wanted from church.  They responded that they attended church 1) to become closer to God; 2) so children would have moral foundation; 3) to be a better person; 4) for comfort in times of crisis.

I believe that local congregations can do these four.  However our methods of doing them have to change.  And until congregations are willing to adapt in a compassionate way to the needs of the wider culture, the religious "Nones" will continue to grow.

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The hate u give or resist

America needs a movement that resists hate. 

I’m thankful that this past weekend no one was killed while worshiping in a synagogue, and no one received a pipe bomb in the mail. Despite this respite I doubt that many believe that these acts of hate won’t happen again.

I spent the weekend watching “The Hate U Give” at a movie theater in Mounds View, attending the Tina Smith/Karin Housley debate at the Fitzgerald Theater and preaching how the purpose of the church is to develop 2G disciples.

The movie was intense and instructive. Starr Carter, brilliantly played by Amandla Stenberg, was a 16 year old girl growing up in a poor African American neighborhood called Garden Heights.  The neighborhood reminded me of the South Side of Chicago where I lived and organized for a brief time and visited on a recent trip.  Starr attended an affluent, predominantly white private school, Williamson Prep. While traveling in a car with a long-time friend, Khalil, the police pulled over the car. What eventually happened was no surprise. The white police officer told Khalil to get out of the car. The police office eventually shot and killed Khalil as Khalil reached into the car to get a hair brush.

The rest of the movie showed how Starr’ family, the people of Garden Heights, the criminal justice system and the whites attending Williamson Prep responded to the killing.  This was a more than a “white officer kills unarmed black man in a traffic stop, so let’s beat up on the police and change the criminal justice system” story.  One of the best parts of the movie was when Starr’s uncle, an African American police officer, shared with Starr how the officer could come to the decision to fire the fatal shots.  Another plot line of how a gang and its leader controlled the neighborhood revealed how drugs and money suppressed the people of Garden Heights. Hate was a central character in the movie.  Not surprisingly it was put at bay at the end of the movie, but no one naively would think that it wouldn’t come out of the shadows again.

The debate between Smith and Housley was conducted civilly and mostly without rancor.  People wanting to know where each stood on the issues got their wish.   Both candidates couldn’t help touch on the canards that their political parties have encouraged them to share. Smith shared that Housley’s views on health care wouldn’t help people with pre-existing conditions; Housley let slip that Smith favored open borders.  Fortunately these “gotcha points” were only shared at the edges of the debate.

As the people of the United States prepare to vote, I’m guessing most will be glad that the election will soon be over. We can go back to watching commercials that sell products and not create ugly stereotypes about people/political candidates.  If asked, what percentage of Americans would want another month of political commercials?  I'm guessing less than one in ten.  I’m all for free speech, but I don’t think the authors of the 1^st Amendment could imagine such repetitive vitriol.  I’m waiting for leaders to develop a system of campaigning that leaves the country in a better place.

Which brings me back to the premise of this blog—that America needs a movement against hate. Time magazine printed a cover called “Beyond Hate” and seven articles that shared important perspectives on moving beyond hate.  I read every article.  Nancy Gibbs wrote an article that resonated with me the most.  http://time.com/5441420/gibbs-beyond-hate/ The whole piece is worth reading.  The following five sentences articulated her view:

“We’re having a master class on hate because we’ve no choice; it has moved from the part of our character we work hardest to suppress to the part we can least afford to ignore.  Hate slipped its bonds and runs loose, through our politics, platforms, press, private encounters.  And the further it travels, the stronger it grows.  People unaccustomed to despising anyone ever, find themselves so frightened or appalled by what they see across the divide that they are prepared to fight it hand to hand.  Calls for civility are scorned as weak, a form of unilateral disarmament.”

A week ago yesterday I shared in a sermon the difference between being a friend and being part of a tribe. (The sermon can be viewed at: https://vimeo.com/297704833)  I defined a tribe as a commitment to an idea that is more important than anything else. The relationship to others in the tribe is based on a view and not a complete relationships.  Tribes become scary when they attack (often with hate) those who disagree with the views.    

I don’t know what a movement that resists hate looks like—but America is ready for one.