Remembering Jeff Gravon on the ten year anniversary of his passing.

A lot is going on in our household that could lead to blog topics. Amy and I went to see Nicola Benedetti play the violin this past Friday night at the Ordway; the football games yesterday were incredible (now the Saints now how the Vikings fans felt in 1975 when the Purple lost a playoff game on a ref’s decision), today is the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday (he is one of heroes.) And Chain of Lakes celebrated our first same-sex marriage yesterday. I talked about same-sex marriage at the conclusion of my sermon yesterday. Check it out at: https://vimeo.com/312403324

But today I can’t help but write about my friend, Jeff Gravon as today is the 10^th anniversary of his passing.

He was one of my longest friends.  I think our friendship started in second grade. Miss Anderson was our teacher. 

We both loved sports, we both loved to talk about sports, and we both loved to win.   In fifth grade we were on the same team in the famous Worthington YMCA flag football league.  He was the quarterback and I was the receiver.  We never lost a game in two years.

We would compete without fear against each other.  One year his baseball team played my baseball team in the famous and very important Worthington YMCA Junior League baseball playoffs.  Baseball wasn’t my best sport, but that day I had a hot hand at the plate.  I was belting everything.  His team got ahead, but in the last inning my team was rallying.  I came to the plate in the last inning of the game.  I knew that I was going to win the game for my team.  The other team knew that too.  So they brought Jeff in to pitch.  And on the first pitch he reared back and threw it and drilled me. He hit me on purpose.  He had no shame in doing this because this is what competitive boys did when they played to win.   The next batter struck out.  His team won, my team lost.

He was the most competitive people I ever knew. One year in grade school a choir competition was set up between the difference classes in our grade.  Each class sang a song; someone judged the winner. Jeff wanted our class to win the choir context. He gave us a pep talk before we sang. What is incredible about the story is Jeff couldn't even sing! He loved to compete just for the sake of competition.

We stayed friends after high school.   He moved to Missouri to be a basketball coach.  I went on to be a pastor and served a church in Plainview, Minnesota, near Rochester.  One day he called me out of the blue and said he was moving to Rochester.  He had met a woman and wanted to get married.  Would I marry him?  Sure.   So we had an impromptu, outdoor wedding at Silver Lake Park on a beautiful day of sunshine. 

He was one of the most devoted fathers I knew.  The woman he married had two children.  He treated those two kids like they were his own flesh and blood.  And then he had two children with his wife.   If his kids needed anything, whether they were his biological kids or his step-kids he was there. 

Jeff stood next to me in my wedding.  It was a glorious day.  He moved to New Prague, Minnesota to be the high school boys basketball coach.  Life was good.

           

And then one day he called and said, “I have cancer.”  Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  “Was it serious, I asked.”  Yes.    And it was serious. 

He would come to the Mayo Clinic and get chemotherapy treatment.  I would sit with him during his treatment, and we would talk about everything.  I reminded him of how he drilled me in the playoff game and how we were champions of the flag football.  We would talk about our favorite Minnesota sports teams. 

Because Jeff was a competitor he fought against his cancer with every ounce of his spirit.  He would do whatever it took to win.  He traveled all over the country to get treatment.  One doctor told him he needed to have his arm amputated.  He did. 

His fight against cancer garnered a lot of media attention here in the Twin Cities.  Some people in New Prague did a fundraiser that Tubby Smith attended; he was featured on a Channel 11 sports program.

He was in and out of the hospital.  One night while in the hospital he decided that he wanted to get out and coach his basketball team.  So he checked himself out of the hospital.  He went to the New Prague gym.  He coached his team.  They won.  He went to a party afterwards.  And then he went to his home.  And he collapsed.  He was taken to St. Mary’s hospital in Rochester.  And he died.  I got a call about 5 in the morning.  I went over to the hospital.  I prayed with his family.  They asked me if I would officiate the funeral.  Of course I would. 

He had two funerals—one in New Prague and one in Worthington.  Both funerals were packed.  I did them both. 

           

After he died his New Prague basketball team was so inspired that they made it to state for the first time in 13 years. 

The summer after he died I raised money and had a plaque installed at the Worthington Y in his honor along with a tree.  It seemed only right to remember him at the Y as it felt like the two of us spent most of our childhood there.

I set up a Facebook page in advance of that celebration which is still somewhat active. 

https://www.facebook.com/Jeff-Gravon-Memorial-Dedication-118679921515367/

I would love to call Jeff up today and talk about the two football games from yesterday.  He would understand the dynamics of the game. 

When people we love pass away we carry memories with us. Today I share these memories as a tribute to my friend.

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