Monday, May 13, 2019

Celebrating Mother's Day--Painful yet Important



When I was younger, I was opposed to holidays where the culture wanted us to celebrate people in our family.  Days like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or even Valentine’s Day.  I’ve never been one that resonates too much with sentiment, and my cynical side would cry out on these days that every day should be a celebration of mothers or fathers or even love.

My cynicism has lessened as I’ve grown older.  As a pastor I’ve led many culturally-encouraged celebrations of mothers and fathers and even love.  I enjoy them.  Yesterday at Chain of Lakes the men of the church organized a beautiful brunch.  During worship I preached about caring with heart for our mothers.  The sermon link is here: https://vimeo.com/335734291  I’ve learned over time that even though we shouldn’t need a celebration like Mother’s Day to celebrate mothers, they are still important.    

Underneath these celebrations is a pain that is important to acknowledge.  I won’t forget the grip of a woman who enveloped me with a hug while crying that on that particular Mother’s Day her children didn’t want to see her; or the cry of a woman who told me her body wouldn’t allow her to have children and on this day she had to be reminded of that reality.  It’s not an easy day.

Mother’s Day has always been more than making or going out for a meal in honor of the woman of the house, sending a card, or making a phone call.  When Anna Jarvis started the holiday on May 10, 1908, by sending 500 white carnations to Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in honor of her late mother Ann, she never could have envisioned what would develop.  Only six years later Woodrow Wilson signed a declaration making the second Sunday in May a national holiday.  The movement to start a day honoring mothers had started shortly after the Civil War.  A more complete history of the holiday can be found at the following two links: http://time.com/4771354/mothers-day-history-origins/ and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_(United_States)

The irony of Mother’s Day is that Anna Jarvis became disillusioned by the growing commercialization of the day and even wanted to have Mother’s Day stopped. 

The commercialization certainly continues.  According to the National Retail Federation 25 billion was expected to be spent on Mother’s Day in 2019 with 84 percent of U.S. adults participating in some sort of way.

I have a feeling that Anna Jarvis would not approve.

I wish that women were honored more much more consistently than they are.  I wish that women didn’t have to experience discrimination for becoming a mother.  In research for my sermon at Chain of Lakes I discovered that pregnancy discrimination still exists.  According to an article in the New York Times pregnancy discrimination lawsuits filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission are at an all-tine high.  https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/06/15/business/pregnancy-discrimination.html   

In fact, when I was carried by my own mother, she and my dad didn’t tell people at first out of fear that she would be forced to quit her elementary teaching job in Paullina, Iowa.  In talking to her last night, she shared that because she taught Kindergarten she could stay on the job, but if she had been teaching 2nd grade she would have had to stop teaching.   I guess Kindergartners in Paullina Iowa in the 1960’s wouldn’t figure out how someone became pregnant, but second graders could. 

Celebrating Mother’s Day is important.  When I saw the gifts that our daughter, Hannah, gave to Amy, my heart was touched.  I think Anna Jarvis would have approved.  When I saw the appreciation in the faces of the women at Chain of Lakes for the beautiful brunch that the men provided, I was glad for the Day.  And when I cried out in my pastoral prayer to God that every church in Anoka County give women the opportunity to have a Rev in front of their name and the opportunity to stand behind the Communion Table, I was thankful that Mother’s Day led to the prayer.

Like all our holidays Mother’s Day is not perfect.  But its redeeming qualities make it important to celebrate.

No comments: