Celebrating our faith story of being a two-church family

This past weekend, Amy, Hannah and I have reveled in the celebration we enjoyed at Hannah’s high-school graduation party.  As I shared on my own Facebook page, our hearts were full of love as we witnessed the support of hundreds of people for Hannah.  Pictures of the party can be seen on my Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/hmoorepaul

This blog is more than a thank-you to everyone who came to the party. It’s a story of how faith has played a role in our family.  Amy, Hannah and I couldn’t have enjoyed such a wonderful experience this past Friday night without the support of adults in the Catholic congregations and Presbyterian congregations where we've served.    

When Amy & I met 21 years ago, our faith was one part of our relationship that connected us.  As we got to know each other we would talk for long periods of time about God and the church and the role that faith played in our lives.  Except we had an issue.  Amy was Catholic who attended Pax Christi Catholic Church in Rochester; I was a Presbyterian pastor who served Community Presbyterian Church in Plainview.  I wasn’t going to change professions, and Amy had no interest in changing her religious affiliation.  As we dated and then got married, we decided to become a two-church family.  I would attend Mass on Saturday afternoons and Amy would attend worship at the Presbyterian church I served.  This arrangement continued when our family moved to the north Metro.  I participate in St. Joseph’s of the Lake Catholic Church in Lino Lakes and Amy participates in Chain of Lakes Church.

When we started our two-church participation we each agreed that our religious participation had to be voluntary.  I couldn’t manipulate Amy into attending the Presbyterian church; she couldn’t do the same to me as I attended the Catholic church. 

This voluntary agreement has always worked.  Each of us sees the church as one body made up of different parts.  I’ve often used the metaphor of faith being a path with denominations being a car that travels on the path.  Both Amy and I are interested in the success of each car that travels on the path. 

When Hannah was born people asked Amy & I where Hannah would attend church.  We shared that she would follow our lead.  Hannah would attend two churches.  And she has.  Just like us, Hannah has gone to Mass on Saturday evenings and then worship at a Presbyterian church on Sunday mornings.  

Amy & I were blessed that important dates in her faith were moments of unity and not division.  The local Catholic priest in Plainview officiated her baptism during a worship service at the Community Presbyterian church in Plainview.  Hannah received first Communion at the Catholic church.  She was confirmed at both the Catholic church and the Presbyterian church.

People will sometimes ask, “Is Hannah a Catholic or Presbyterian? She’s a Christian who travels in the Presbyterian car and the Catholic car.  Has she been confused by the different teachings of the church?  No.  In reality there is more there is more that is similar to Catholics and Presbyterians than that is different.  Has Hannah ever resisted participating in two churches?  Fortunately not.  Amy & I established the ground rules early that going to church is part of our family.  On a weekend our normal routine is to attend church at two different congregations.  This routine is so ingrained in our family's life that it would seem odd to change.    

What has made all of this church participation so beautiful is Hannah has been surrounded by adults her entire life who are interested in her.   Hannah learned at an early age that she could trust adults.  Adults were interested in her; they wanted to know what she was doing; they cared about what happened in her life; they had no “agenda” besides her own well-being.

One of the best reasons for parents to encourage their kids to participate in a local church is the interaction kids will have with adults.  In almost every faith community—and sure there are faith communities that are not healthy and where adults have acted in in inappropriate and unlawful ways—adults will take a healthy interest in youth.  Adults will build relationships with youth that will make a lasting impression. 

Our family got to celebrate these relationships this past Friday night at Hannah’s graduation party.  Some adults drove hundreds of miles to celebrate this milestone on her journey.  For this Amy and I are grateful. 

Amy & I have a daughter who has been raised by a village.  Hannah has received something in these congregations that she couldn’t have received in any other place.  She has received faith-filled, healthy interest from many adults in the Catholic church and the Presbyterian church.  This experience of healthy relationships is one of the best reasons for any adult to insist that their children participate in a congregation. 

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A letter to our daughter, Hannah, on her graduation day

June 4, 2019

Dear Hannah,

Today you’re walking across the stage, most likely in the gym at Blaine High School, to receive a diploma for graduating from High School.  Congratulations!  No one is surprised that this day has come for you, but it’s still worth pausing to reflect about the journey that you’ve taken for the last 13 years.  Ever since the world discovered that you were going to be born, our family life has been public.  Writing this public letter of congratulations seems consistent with our family's experiences.   

We’re celebrating your accomplishments today, but the celebration is much more than just yours.  Your mom and I are grateful that you could receive a public education.  And we don’t take that for granted.  We never had to pay for you to go to any class that you’ve taken, whether it was in the Anoka-Hennepin School District or at Anoka Ramsey Community College.  You come from a family of public-school teachers, so we have a special appreciation for all the teachers from Gage Elementary, Johnsville Elementary, Roosevelt Middle School, and Blaine High School.  We also give thanks for the bus drivers, the aides, the counselors, the administrators, the school board members, the janitors, the coaches, and many others who invested in you so that you could walk across the stage tonight at Blaine High School.  All of them deserve credit for your accomplishments.

I clearly remember your very first day of school.  You were up early; we took pictures; I can still see the pig tails in your red hair.  You were attending morning Kindergarten.  You took the bus so your mom I walked with you to the bus stop. I clearly remember the huge backpack that went from your shoulder to your waist that you carried on your back down the block of 22^nd Ave NW in Rochester.  When the bus came your mom asked the bus driver if he could change the bus stop to in front of our home.  I have the video somewhere.  Your mom’s request made sense as you were the only one on the bus.  You climbed on the bus and away you went. 

Now it's thirteen years later.  Where does the time go? That day seems like "just yesterday," just like today will seem like "just yesterday" at future important moments of your journey. 

Perhaps you can ask each person from our family who will celebrate with you today their "just yesterday" stories from their high school graduation.  I remember thirty-seven years ago on June 6th walking across a stage inside a gym at Worthington HIgh School.  I remember the bright red graduation robes.  Later that that day a small tornado swirled near Worthington.  My graduation party was at our home that afternoon.  I don’t remember much of what the commencement speaker said, but I remember standing in line and hearing someone say that our class would never be in the same place again.  And that was the truth.  Take a moment tonight to remember that truth for your class.  This will be the last time that your class of approximately seven hundred will all be together. 

As you walk across the stage tonight, you won’t carry a backpack of supplies.  Instead you’ll carry a cache of stories.  I remember that on the first day of each grade your mom would take a picture in front of the same chalkboard.  Those pictures will be displayed at your graduation party.  I remember the many school conferences where teachers would share how you were doing.  I remember when you stopped taking the bus to Blaine High School.  Two or three days a week I would drive you to school. I remember sleeping in a box with you nearby on the tennis courts of Blaine High School to highlight youth homelessness.  I remember the tennis matches and basketball games and track meets and the stories you told about your golf meets.  I remember the speech tournaments and HOSA parties and band concerts.  You’ll carry these stories and many more when you receive a diploma tonight.

           

Next year you’re going to Hamline.  And it wouldn’t surprise anyone if you receive more schooling after that.  Today—celebrate the present.  Your mom and I give thanks for all that you’ve received over this thirteen-year journey.  We love you and are so proud of you.  Congratulations!