Thoughts on my pastoral vocation

During the past week Alexander Lang wrote a blog that shared why he left the church he was serving, First Presbyterian Church in Arlington Heights Illinois. The link is here: Departure: Why I Left the Church (restorativefaith.org) Not only did he leave that congregation, he left the profession of being a pastor. He put a link to the blog on Facebook, and it has spread like wildfire. Over a hundred people have made comments on it, and the article has been shared almost two thousand times. Alexander Lang wrote that he was shocked that his blog spread so rapidly as usually seventy people reads his posts. I know the feeling! That's about how many read my blog each week.

Many people have written their own blogs about their thoughts regarding their pastoral calling. Here’s mine.

It's important for me to share that I have the greatest sympathy for Alexander Lang and whoever else has resigned as a pastor in a difficult situation. I have no judgment for pastors who have left the profession. This is a hard job.

I write as a person who has served as a Presbyterian pastor for thirty years. Plus my wife, Amy, has been the Administrator of two Catholic churches. Our life is “all church, all the time.”

A key part of my vocational identity is my calling. I wasn’t planning on being a pastor—though it was always a part of my thought process. When I graduated from college I was interested in being a teacher, lawyer, or pastor. Through my work for the farm workers in California I came to believe that the world couldn’t be changed unless the church was advocating for change. I was fired up for social justice! Later I became fired up for helping people develop their own personal faith. 

Because of these experiences I developed a clear desire to create a church that is passionate about social justice and personal faith.

I did have a moment when I considered going into community organizing for my career. But when I was wrestling about whether to go to take a community organizing job or go to seminary, I felt a clear direction from God that God wanted me to go to seminary.

I still remember the moment. It's an important part of my story and vocation. As I was driving to my home in Worthington, Minnesota the question came to me, “where do I want to be in five years?” The answer was “the church.” This answer came from nowhere. Once it came I felt a peace that I had hardly ever experienced. I took it as a calling from God.

And sure enough five years later I was installed as pastor of Community Presbyterian Church in Plainview, Minnesota.

I served that church for 16 years and have served Chain of Lakes for 14 years. I have no plans on going anywhere else or changing professions.

I don’t think that being a pastor is necessarily harder than other professions, but it has its unique challenges. In his blog Alexander Lang wrote about seven skill set of a pastor. He said they are: Professional Speaker, CEO, Counselor, Fundraiser, Human Resources Director, Master of Ceremonies, Pillar of Virtue. I can’t disagree with any of these. Other skill sets needed are vision caster, conflict management expert, teacher, and organizational development manager. And there are probably others.

Lang wrote about the Great Resignation. Barna did a poll of pastors that said 42 percent of pastors has considered resigning.

I’m not part of that 42 percent. I have a deep passion for the work we are doing at Chain of Lakes. I love our Purpose, I love our Core Values—I think of our Purpose and Core Values as our culture. I love the people have come to the church and have bought into this culture. I’m still sold out to it. I can’t imagine leaving.

Like all pastors I have experienced conflict in both congregations. The worst was in Plainview. Our daughter was conceived when I was engaged to be married. When this news was shared two families in that church went around the church trying to stir up a reaction against me. I found out about this when I came home at 2am after driving from Denver on an exhausting mission trip. I opened the door and a letter from them fell at my feet. 

That was painful. I endured many meetings about how the congregation would respond. Those two families left the church. I stayed at the congregation for nine years after this happened.. I never would have wished or prayed for that to happen. But the congregation turned out stronger because of the honest conversations we had. 

When I came to Chain of Lakes I was adamant that one of our Core Values was “Healthy Disagreement.” I expect that disagreement will happen. I don’t like disagreement, and I don’t look for it. But it inevitably happens. 

I’ve found that frequently talking about this Core Value helps. People at Chain of Lakes have permission—though they don’t need it—to disagree. Our Core Value takes the steam way from the inevitable disagreements that come up.  

One phrase that I use often with our staff and leaders is “everyone is responsible for their own emotions.” I have a hard enough time managing my own emotions. My task is not to manage others’ emotions. If someone is mad, that is their issue. I’ll talk to them, but I’m not going to take on their anger. I frequently have someone who is mad or upset with me. Sometimes the person might even be justified. But I don’t take on their anger.

Is this easy? No. But I could not serve as a pastor if I took on every person’s emotional reaction.

I know that I could not have lasted as a pastor without my prayer life. I never thought that I would be such an advocate for prayer. But I am.

I pray for at least a half hour every work day. I pray over everything in my life—my calling, my family, situations at the church, the world. And I’m almost always find myself in a better place than when I started. My worst time of the day is when I wake up and I feel the anxieties of the day. The best time of my day is 45 minutes later after I’ve showered and prayed. I’m ready.

I certainly don’t believe that the answer to any pastor’s challenges at work is to just pray. But I do know that my own prayer life has sustained me for thirty years.

One other great help in my own ministry is the Serenity Prayer. I shared a sermon series this past spring on the Serenity Prayer that can be found at colpres.org. I do my best to focus on what I can control. When I obsess about what I can’t control, then I’m set up for trouble.

In the Purpose Statement at Chain of Lakes we say that we want to follow God’s calling to be an authentic, Christian community. I see my task as a pastor to be myself. No secrets, no unrealistic expectations, no putting on airs. If I can be the best version of Paul Moore that God wants, then I’ll be fine.

This past weekend I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of Kyle and Hannah Kuznia. I got to know them through a friend. They had already done their pre-marital counseling, so my job was to help them design and lead a wedding service. I met with them earlier this year and enjoyed getting to know their story. We planned the service that night. This past Friday I drove over to Stillwater to lead a rehearsal. I had so much fun getting to know their families and talking to people. Yesterday afternoon I drove to New Prague to officiate the service. Again—a very meaningful experience. It took me away from my family for two nights, and I had asked my wife, Amy, beforehand if she was okay with me leading this service. Having the opportunity to help these two people at a significant time in their life was meaningful to me.

I have great sympathy for Alexander Lang and the pain he has experienced. But I also know that being a pastor is one of the best jobs in the world. I truly believe that. And I’m as excited to go to work tomorrow as I was when I started.