Celebrating 65 years of marriage

 

This past Saturday I had the privilege of celebrating with many others my parents’ 65^th wedding anniversary. The 65^th wedding anniversary is known as the “blue sapphire” anniversary which symbolizes wisdom, loyalty, and an enduring, deep-rooted love. Only 1.8 percent of couples who are married reach their 65^th wedding anniversary. Part of this is because of age. When someone asked my dad this past weekend what is the key to 65 years of marriage, he replied, “not dying.” And this is true, of course. And it is true that no one can live with another person without wisdom, loyalty and an enduring, deep-rooted love.

 

At their celebration at Chatauqua Park in Worthington, my daughter, Hannah, did a terrific job of sharing some of the highlights of my parents meeting and of their wedding. I’ve shared some of these highlights at the bottom of this blog.

 Both my wife, Amy, and I are extraordinarily fortunate to have parents who enjoyed long marriages. Amy’s parents will celebrate their 70^th wedding anniversary this fall.

 My parents never argued in front of me when I was growing up. The first time I saw them argue was when I was in college. And after seeing them argue I wondered if they were going to get a divorce. Keeping their disagreements behind closed doors provided a foundation for our family. My sister and I never questioned whether my parents would be together. In retrospect it probably would have been healthier for them to argue more in front of my sister and me as we would have learned at an earlier age that this is what families do.

 

My parents lived into the idea of two becoming one. They did everything together. They attended all of the activities that my sister and I participated—sporting events, musical concerts, church gatherings, other events. And they always attended together. I don’t ever remember them coming to one of our activities by themselves. This past Saturday, my niece Elizabeth remarked that my parents came to many of her high school activities. And they always came together.

Even with my dad eighty-five and my mom eighty-seven, they still care for each other. Recently my dad and I were talking about the challenges that my mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis presents. He shared with me that he took a vow at his marriage to be with her in the good times and the bad. And though he probably wouldn’t describe this part of their journey as bad, no one would have chosen for her to live with Alzheimer’s. So he perseveres with love while remembering his vow during this season of their life.

 I can only wish that every couple who gets married in their twenties will celebrate sixty-five years of marriage. The world would be a better place.

 

Here are some stories of my parents’ dating and marriage.

Their first date was January 15, 1960 in Mankato. They met through the Mankato student Christian federation. They saw the movie, “the Wreck of the Mary Dear.” My dad wore a tie and a suit coat. The weather was below zero. The two walked from the lower Mankato campus to downtown. After the movie they had pizza at Pizza-kato. My dad smoked a post pizza cigarette.

On the second date my dad asked my mom if he had permission to kiss her. They kissed in front of my mom’s dorm.

They were married in Mantorville, MN at the congregational church on the afternoon of Saturday, August 5, 1961. My mom got ready in the Old Mansion and rode to the wedding in her grandfather Walter’s car over to the church.

The bridesmaids were Clare (Zeller) Field and Pat Harris. The groomsmen were Duae Moore and Lee Hilman. Del Matheson and Jerry Harris were ushers.

My grandfather, Vinton, my mom’s dad, was miffed that another couple was married in the church and used the décor/flowers for their wedding.

My dad and mom left the wedding in a 1957 Two door Chevy that my dad bought a week before the wedding in Fenton, Iowa.

The wedding reception was at Michael’s in Rochester. The two drove to Winona and arrived at midnight with no reservation. They eventually found a room in Fountain City, Wisconsin.

The next day me dad and mom went to church. The minister announced their presence by yelling, “This is a newly wed young couple from Minneapolis.”

They drove to the Wisconsin Dells to attend Tommy Bartlett’s water ski show.

The two had jobs as teachers in Paulina, Iowa. My dad was a high-school English teacher, and my mom was an elementary-school teacher. After the honeymoon the two stopped in Mantorville to get their wedding gifts which had been unwrapped by Maxine, my mom’s mom, and Pat, her sister while my parents were away. When my dad looked at the gifts he said, “well it looks like we got everything except for a toothpick holder.” A week or so later one arrived in the main from Blanche Harris, my mom’s grandmother!