Reunion!

Reunion! This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend my 40^th college reunion at Carleton College. Fortieth college reunion? Am I really that old? As I learned in my student years at Carleton, facts don’t lie.

At Carleton reunions are shared for classes in five-year increments. This past weekend the class of 2021, 2016, 2011, 2006 ... (you get the idea) gathered. Carleton invests in reunions because a lot of money is raised for the school. It was announced during the large gathering this past Saturday morning, that the class of 1976 had given 28 million to the college. A significant chunk of that give came from estates. Carleton has a source of important funding because of Reunion. That kind of financial giving makes it apparent that the college wants to have Reunion go well.

This was the first college reunion for me in ten years as COVID prevented an on-site reunion five years ago. I've attended almost every reunion of my class since I graduated in 1986. 

Reunion at Carleton is like a weekend, summer camp. Many stay in the dorms; kids have planned activities; meals are provided; a significant number of activities happen during the day. I live about a hour from Carleton, so I didn't stay on campus. I ended up driving three times from Blaine to Northfield and back to enjoy the festivities.

My wife, Amy, was gracious to join me for one day of Reunion. But to be a spouse at Reunion is very difficult—the ultimate third wheel experience. Amy decided to attend as she enjoys meeting Carleton alums. And Carleton alums are very interesting people. All of them are intelligent, most are on the liberal side of the political side, and all will share their opinions. We are Carleton students—we were educated on how to develop and share opinions!

For me a meaningful part of Reunion was participating in an outdoor remembrance gathering for people in our class who have passed away in the past five years. I think there are fifteen people who have passed. At the remembrance gathering many people came forward to share memories of the deceased. I only knew a few of the people who have passed, but listening to these stories was very moving.  One person who I did know was Lauris Heyerdahl. I played football with him for four years. Football players develop a brotherhood that is special. A woman who was a friend of Lauris shared beautiful stories about Lauris and their friendship. I felt like I was in heaven during the remembrance gathering. Time seemed to stop, the setting and weather was almost perfect, and everyone who attended paid close attention. The collective spirit of all of us who were present was full of compassion and care.

Attending a gathering organized for football alums was also special. Coach Tom Journell did a terrific job of welcoming the football alums who attended and sharing a talk about the state of the football program. I can hardly wait to watch a game at Sullivan Field in Laird Stadium this fall.

One lovely tradition of Reunion is the parade of classes. Each class walks from the Bald Spot on campus into the chapel. When the people older than us pass our group it’s almost impossible not to realize that this is how we are going to look like in five, ten and fifteen years; when we pass the classes who are younger than us, it’s almost impossible not to think about how we looked when we were that age. In one short parade we see the future and remember the past.

Alison Byerly, President of Carleton, shared a talk about the college when everyone was gathered in the Chapel. She talked about the difficulties the college encountered this past year, especially with the ICE raids in Minnesota. She also talked about the challenges that AI present to colleges. She did note that in being a small college, Carleton is better positioned than large colleges to be able to recognize student work that is generated by AI.

On Sunday I had the opportunity to speak during the chapel service. Normally I share sermons at worship, but I wasn’t asked to preach. I was asked to share a reading. What reading do I share at an alumni chapel service? I asked my Facebook friends and others for suggestions. Nothing resonated with me until I went to the bookstore on my first day of Reunion and saw a book of poems by Mary Oliver. The poems gave me something to share. I ended up sharing the poems, “Invitation" and "Mindful.” And now I’ve made a new commitment to myself to read one Mary Oliver poem a day.

Reunions are intense—they require that our brains pay attention and listen closely to the people with whom we hold conversations. We have our brains opened to remember stories that happened many years ago. We are reminded of the identities we carried in college. Many people shared with me their memory of me being the captain of the football team and concertmaster of the orchestra. These identities are like old clothes--some fit, others don't any more. I am inspired to keep playing my violin. Thankfully I have opportunities. 

Because of their intensity I don’t need to go back to Reunion for another five years. Until then I’m looking forward to being in contact with the people I saw this past weekend.  I don’t think the word, “Tribe” completely describes an alumni class, but it's close. The people with whom I graduated are my people. Not that I own them, but I belong to them. We have common experiences that always connect us. And because of Reunion we have the opportunity to take steps deeper into friendships that were forged when all of us were much younger.

My recent experiences with hate speech

I don’t know if hate is increasing in our culture. I did a simple google search on the question, "is hate increasing?" The search led me to the FBI web site which reported in August 2025 that in 2024 there were 11,679 hate crime incidents involving 14,243 victims for calendar year 2024. This compares to 11,862 incidents in 2023 with 14,416 victims. About the same. The link to these statistics is here: https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/hate-crime-statistics.

The United Nations commissioned a report that said there was an exponential increase in hate speech. The report covers the whole world and includes convincing statistics.

I’m most interested in what is happening in our local community, Is hate speech increasing here? I’ve had three incidents in the last two weeks that makes me wonder.

On Sunday, May 24 we had a full house at Chain of Lakes during worship. The music was beautiful, guests came, the sermon seemed to connect. We had a wonderful day. I greet everyone who comes through the door and before worship I greeted two young, Caucasian men. They seemed interested.

After worship I also greet people as they leave. And it took a long time for these two gentlemen to leave. I was interested in talking to them and learning their story. Finally they approached me. They asked me about the flag on the north side of our building. I told them that it is the rainbow flag. They asked me what Jesus would think of this. I shared that I thought Jesus would applaud our congregation for flying the rainbow flag as he frequently reached out and cared for people on the margins. They then pulled out their Bibles and asked me if our support of LGBTQIA+ people was biblical. I then realized that these two men did not come to worship to check out our congregation. They were there to let us know that our views on LGBTQIA+ issues were not biblical and morally wrong.

 I’ve had these conversations with many people over the last 33 years of ministry. I’ve lead Bible studies on this issue; I’ve given talks on this issue; I’ve attended many, many meetings where people have shared different views on this issue. I’ve seen our Presbyterian denomination split because of this issue. A few years ago I shared a short video on how I came to my own views. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=600056857967631

This is a hard issue. We have people at Chain of Lakes who hold the traditional view about LGBTQIA+ issues. I let them know that they are very welcome in our congregation. I will welcome them and care for them. But most of the congregation at Chain of Lakes is not in this place. I don't argue with people who have connected to Chain of Lakes who hold the traditional view. 

But I won't let two young, Caucasian men who were guests instruct me on the Bible after a powerful worship service. They wanted to talk about 1 Corinthians 6. I shared that I’ve read 1 Corinthians 6. I’ve read through the Bible at least five times, I’ve preached on the Bible for 33 years, and I read the Bible every day. I told them with all due respect that I know the Bible very well. 

To me what matters most is how Jesus would respond, and I believe he would accept and love the LGBTQIA+ community. I asked these men if they believed in child abuse, as part of Leviticus supports child abuse. I asked them if they support slavery, as part of the Bible supports slavery. I'm not going to hate on a group of people because of six passages in the Bible. And I especially won't when Jesus taught and always displayed that what is most important is to "love God with our heart and soul and mind and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves." I’m part of a denomination that ordains the LGBTQ+IA community. We’ve had people from that community serve on the Session at Chain of Lakes. The first marriage at Chain of Lakes was a gay marriage.

I am still a bit taken aback that these two young men came to Chain of Lakes. Their words would not be “hate speech,” but they were quite bold and even aggressive in their approach. I had and still have a lot of questions about the faith community that formed them. Do they feel they have the right to come in as guests to the faith community I serve and tell us that we are wrong.

 This past Saturday, I attended Anoka Pride. I went by myself. In the past we’ve had a group from Chain of Lakes attend. The celebration was even bigger than last year. It is now taking place at Riverfront Memorial Park. There were many booths and food and music—the celebration was beautiful.

 And there was a man with a sign. The picture of the sign is here. The picture is hard to share.

I chose not to engage this man as I’ve had too many conversations like this in the past. I’m not going to change this man’s mind. Though I’m very disturbed when a person represents faith in a way that is quite judgmental and certainly hateful.

 A person from our congregation shared an encounter she witnessed of another person with this man. 

“Early in our interaction this man had obviously decided that I must be gay, fine. He then proceeded to tell me that I am a sinner, I am going to hell, I don’t deserve to live in this world and he could save me if only I were to repent and come to Jesus. This was after several minutes of arguing over the teachings of Jesus that I learned. I was exhausted by this, asked him to leave several times and eventually security came to “help” him out.”

I have so many questions about this encounter that I could probably blog every week for a year. But how does a person become so full of hate? How has his faith community taught and even encouraged him to treat people so terribly.

After the sermon this past Sunday I shared my story of being at Anoka Pride with the people gathered for worship at Chain of Lakes. I shared that I understand that people can land in different places on the LGBTQIA+ issue. But most people at Chain of Lakes have chosen acceptance. 

People don’t choose their sexual orientation. As one of my favorite people at Chain of Lakes has often said, “who in their right mind would choose to be discriminated against, attacked, and fearful because of their sexual orientation?” At Chain of Lakes we will land on our Core Value of acceptance, “we will welcome people as Jesus welcomed them, with open hearts and open minds.”

 After worship this past Sunday a person from Chain of Lakes shared their experience at Pine City Pride. This was one of the first Pride festivals. I was shown a picture of men dressed in T-Shirts, wearing masks, and carrying flags—one of the flags was upside down.

I was a bit scared just looking at the picture. I was told that one of the messages this group  communicated was they want to take American back. My question is “take America back to what?” Times when people lived in the closet because they were afraid for their safety?

 Where do people get these ideas that they can show up at a festival and try to intimidate other?

 I’m a white, male, straight guy—my privilege has not led me to be concerned for my safety. But as a white, male, straight guy I’m always going to stand up for those who are forced to live on the margins. 

We still have a long way to go in our area in celebrating the diversity of creation.

People can have different views on issues, but the approach of intimidation, bullying, and judgment must be countered. Hate speech has no place in our country.