The Church's response to the #MeToo movement

Yesterday Chain of Lakes Church devoted worship to the theme of the church’s response to the #MeToo movement.  I chose this theme after reading an editorial by Jim Wallis in the July issue of Sojourners magazine. Wallis issued a call for a hundred sermons against domestic and sexual violence.  At the time of the editorial he had received 60 sermons, but only ten sermons from men. The full editorial is here:

https://sojo.net/magazine/july-2018/too-few-men

The manuscript of the sermon is below. The link to the video for the sermon is here:
https://vimeo.com/290185314

Later this week I will post the link to the video of the sermon. 

This was one of the toughest sermons I’ve given.  It was very uncomfortable standing up in front of others in worship and talking about rape, sexual harassment, & sex was not easy.  I certainly felt “out there.”

However I’m not asking for sympathy as my level of being uncomfortable was not even close to the horrible experiences of sexual violence that woman have experienced.  Statistics about sexual violence need to be shared.  According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center one in five women will be raped in their lifetime.  One in three women will experience some form of inappropriate sexual contact in their lifetime.  Twenty to twenty-five percent of women are victims of forced sex while in college.

The highlight of worship was Kathy Brevig sharing her own #MeToo story. Kathy experienced sexual violence a number of years ago. She hadn’t told anyone about this incident.

The fact that she even shared her story is a testimony to the work of the Holy Spirit. Kathy attended a retreat at Presbyterian Clearwater Forest in August called Chrysalis. At the retreat she encountered the story of Susanna. The story is in the book of Susanna which is in the Apocrypha. Susanna rebuffed the unwanted sexual advances of two men. To punish Susanna the men falsely accused her of having sex with another man.

Shortly after this I shared at a staff meeting of Chain of Lakes that I wanted to have a woman speak at the service yesterday.  I didn’t think it would be appropriate for only a man to speak at this service. At the staff meeting Kathy shared that she had a #MeToo story. After the staff meeting she shared it with me. It seemed to be a God thing for her to share her story during worship yesterday.

During the service the music focused on healing; in the sermon I focused on the history of the #MeToo movement, statistics on sexual violence including statistics of sexual violence in the church, and shared three specific ways the church can respond to the #MeToo movement. They are:

1.  Give space for women to share their stories

2.  Teach a healthy sexuality

3.  Help men come to terms about what it means to be a male

After the sermon Kathy Brevig shared her story. I then said a prayer. Jonathan Smith, Music Director of Chain of Lakes, then shared some music.

The response in worship was overwhelmingly positive. Almost everyone shared their appreciation that Chain of Lakes was willing to confront such a hard topic. Kathy Brevig was appropriately lauded with praise. She shared that four women came up to her and shared that they had a #MeToo experience.

I want to challenge every church in Anoka County and the churches in the Presbytery of Twin Cities Area to focus a service on the #MeToo movement. As I shared in the opening to the sermon I have no doubt that if Jesus was alive today he would be encouraging churches to face this topic. And as he was doing this, he would comfort the survivors; he would listen carefully and with respect to their stories.

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The following is the manuscript for the sermon I shared yesterday.  If  anyone would like to have a copy of the power point slides send an email to pastor@colpres.org The Scripture reading was Genesis 34:1-7, the rape of Dinah

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            For such a thing ought not to happen here.  This is how the writer of Genesis described what happened to Dinah.  And if the writer of Genesis was alive today and describing how people—mainly women—are raped and sexually harassed he would say the same thing. 

            This IS also what you and I would say.  Such a thing ought not to happen.  And not only that you and I dream of the day when no person is raped or sexually harassed.  This is certainly a blue sky dream—and our dream is fully rooted in God’s dream.  For God dreams of the day when no one is raped or sexually harassed. 

            Most of the time God’s dreams or intentions happen through the work of humans—you & I.  This is one reason we come to worship and participate in church.  We place our faith in a God who has great dreams for the world, and we ask “what can we do to make them happen.”

            The hope for today is a group of people who gathered for worship at a location called Chain of Lakes will take steps towards living out God’s dream—where no one is raped or sexually harassed.  For such a thing ought not to happen.    

            Today we are looking at the church’s response to the #MeToo movement. In this sermon I’m going to do two things.  I’m going to describe the history of the #MeToo movement and then I’m going to share three ways the church can respond. 

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The theme of this service came to be when I read an article by Jim Wallis, editor of Sojourners magazine.  He encouraged every church to have a worship service that focused on the church’s response to the #MeToo movement.  So here we are.  

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            None of you have asked me this, but I can imagine the question might have gone through someone’s mind if this is an appropriate topic for a church to address in worship.  To the best of my knowledge no other church in Anoka County has had a worship service that focuses on the church’s response to the #MeToo movement.  Chain of Lakes is distinct in focusing on this topic.

            This topic is appropriate because I believe if Jesus was alive today he would ask churches to do this.  How do we think Jesus would respond to a person who was raped or sexually harassed?  He would sooth the wounds of the victim, he would be talk about what was happening with his disciples, and he would speaking prophetically to the world with the intention of creating a world where no person is raped or sexually harassed.  The church is the body of Christ, so we follow Jesus.  We’re always asking the question, “what would Jesus do?”  So here we are.

            I want to put out a challenge to every church in Anoka County to have a worship service that focuses on the church’s response to rape and sexual harassment. 

            Harassment happens to men also and in homosexual relationships.  For the purpose of this sermon I’ll talk about harassment conducted by men to women.

            I wrote a devotion for you and I encourage you to get it out.  I shared stories about important women in the Bible.  I encourage you to use it every day this week.  In the middle is a place to take notes.  I believe something might be said that you want to write down.  On the back is a listing of prayer requests.

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            Tarana Burke was born in the Bronx in 1973.  She grew up in a low-income, working-class family in a housing project.  She was raped and sexually assaulted as a child and a teenager.  She committed herself to improving the lives of young girls.  One time she sat across from a 13-year-old girl.  The girl shared that her mother’s boyfriend had been sexually abusing her.  She was searching for the right words to help empathize with this young girl.  She coined the phrase #MeToo.  That was in 2006. 

            Last fall, the New York Times published articles that contained allegations of sexual assault and rape against Harvey Weinstein, an American film producer.  Over eighty women made allegations of sexual harassment against Weinstein. 

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            Shortly after that Alyssa Milano shared a tweet on the Social Media platform Twitter around noon on October 15 that said this, “If all the women who had been sexually assaulted or harassed wrote the hashtag “me too” … we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. 

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By the end of the day the hashtag #Metoo had been shared over 200,000 times.  Within 24 hours it had been tweeted 500,000 times. On Facebook the hashtag was used by more than 4.7 million people in 12 million posts during the first 24 hours.  Facebook reported that 45 percent of users in the United States had a friend who posted the hashtag.

            Tens of thousands of people replied with #MeToo stories.

            Something changed. 

            Over 200 men in the arts and entertainment industry, media, business & tech and politics were accused of sexual harassment.  The web site vox.com has a listing.  Some prominent names who have been accused are Kevin Spacey, Oliver Stone, Ben Affleck, Sylvester Stallone, David Copperfield, Morgan Freeman, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Charlie Rose, Garrison Keillor, Tom Brokaw, Al Franken, Roy Moore, & John Conyers.

            President Clinton was impeached for lying to a grand jury about sexual harassment.

President Trump was caught on tape saying things that indicated he had engaged in sexual harassment.

            The statistics are hard to hard to hear and hard to share.    

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            According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center one in five women will be raped in their lifetime.

            One in three women will experience some form of inappropriate sexual contact in their lifetime.

            Ninety-one percent of rape victims are women

            20% - 25% of women are victims of forced sex while in college.

            Rape is the most under-reported crime; 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police

            In this place we’re interested in what happens in a church.  In the Catholic tradition the news of sexual misconduct is often of priests acting inappropriately with underage boys.  Sexual misconduct in Protestant churches is not often mentioned.  That leads to the question, “how often does sexual misconduct happen in Protestant churches?”

            I wish I had better news to share. 

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            A study by PC(USA) Research Services in 2016 revealed that 84 percent of female teaching elders, pastors, had experienced discrimination, prejudice or harassment.

            The Office of General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) estimates that there are about 50 clergy sexual misconduct cases every year.

            Then there are anecdotal stories

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            This past week Val Owens and I were at a meeting at Oak Grove Presbyterian Church in Bloomington.  Oak Grove is a sister-church to Chain of Lakes.  I shared with the group that the focus of worship this Sunday is on the church’s response to the #MeToo movement.  The pastor of Oak Grove, Bill Chadwick shared that seven pastors in Oak Grove’s history had done something inappropriate.  Seven pastors.  Bill went on to say that all of their staff offices have windows and all of the doors of staff have windows because of their history of sexual misconduct. 

            Many years ago Westminster Presbyterian Church in Minneapolis was in the midst of an important renovation of their sanctuary.  Just as the campaign was getting going, the pastor announced to the congregation that he was divorcing his wife and getting married to the associate pastor and resigning from his position.  This is a hard story for me to share as the pastor is still a friend of mine.  Having an affair with a staff person is misconduct. 

            The Presbytery recognized this and temporarily removed this man from being a pastor for a length of time.

            I’ve been told many stories of pastors preying on women in a “counseling” situation.  When I was growing up at Westminster Presbyterian Church I heard stories of a pastor who acted inappropriately with women in a “counseling” situation.  That pastor stayed less than five years at the church.  In growing up in that church, I never heard much about this pastor’s actions.  And perhaps it was appropriate that I was a youth didn’t know what had happened.   However keeping secrets is not healthy and hurts the mission of the church.  Sure it would have been unpleasant to bring out into the open what had happened.  But it’s hard to heal when the truth isn’t shared.   

            At Chain of Lakes we say right in our Purpose Statement that we are called to be an authentic, Christian community. Being authentic means that we don’t keep secrets and we freely share information.  We are willing to discuss uncomfortable topics. We seek the truth and then share the truth in love.

            That’s a brief history of the #MeToo movement and some statistics. 

            The important question is “How do we respond?”

            We look to Jesus.  I want to read a story for you that informs my understanding of how to respond.  It’s the story of Jesus and the women at the well.  It’s in John 4.  Let me set it up.  Jews and Samaritans didn’t talk to each other.  Men had power over women.  In the time of Jesus women didn’t even have legal rights.  A women was the property of her husband.  If a woman wasn’t married she was in worse shape.   And I’ll let the story speak for itself.

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So [Jesus] came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon. (John 4:5-6)

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A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria? (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) (John 4:7-9) 

            Jesus went on to have a conversation with the woman.  The fact that a Jew would talk to a Samaritan was remarkable; the fact that a man would talk to a woman was also remarkable.  Jesus carried all of the power in this conversation. 

            Jesus asked the woman to bring her husband to the well.  The narrator went on to say that the woman had been married and divorced five times.  We don’t know this, but it’s not hard to imagine that this woman had been forced to engage in sex that was against her own will.  It’s not a huge leap to come to the conclusion that she had experienced sexual harassment. 

            Jesus was willing to talk to the woman.  Jesus gave her space to share her story. In listening to her, Jesus communicated that what she had to say was important.  She didn’t need to hide any longer. She didn’t need to keep the burden of her story to herself anymore.  She had someone who would listen and even more importantly she had someone who respected her.  Jesus valued her. 

            At the end of the story the disciples came upon the woman.  The story shares that

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They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman (John 4:27)

            The reaction of the disciples revealed how significant it was for Jesus to talk to this woman.  He was breaking a cultural norm of his day because Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans.  And Jesus was talking to a woman who had been divorced five times. 

            If you ever wonder why Jesus is so important, come back to his actions in this story.

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            One way the church can respond to the #MeToo movement is by giving space to women to share their stories.  By sharing a story the unhealthy power of a secret is lifted.  I wouldn’t be surprised if 50 percent of the woman who participate at Chain of Lakes have experienced sexual harassment or even rape.  I want to encourage you to share your stories with someone.  The role for the rest of us is to listen with compassion. 

            When Jonathan Smith and I planned this service I shared with him that I wanted to have a female. I didn’t feel comfortable having a service on the #MeToo movement where only a man spoke.  I shared this wish at our staff meeting.  After the staff meeting Kathy Brevig said that she wanted to talk with me.  Kathy had just been to a retreat of women called Chrysalis at Presbyterian Clearwater Forest.  During Chrysalis the story of Susanna was shared.  Susanna is part of the Apocrypha, that’s a collection of 14 books that at one time was part of the Old Testament.   

            Susanna was a woman who rebuffed the sexual advances of two men. When the two men were rebuffed they punished Susanna by saying she had sex with a young man.  That story was a lie.               After hearing the story of Susanna at Chrysalis and then hearing my wish at a staff meeting to have a female share a #MeToo story, Kathy told me that she had a #MeToo story.  She had never shared it with anyone.  When I heard her story there was no doubt that it was important for her story to be heard at this service. 

            That is the work of the Holy Spirit. 

            A first way for the church to respond is to create a space where people can share their stories.

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            The second way the church can respond to the #MeToo movement is to teach that Sex is a good gift that is given by God to humanity.  Sexuality is good and healthy and reflects love.  Sex is intended to take place in committed relationships. 

            Where are people going to learn about sex?  Hopefully in families; hopefully in schools; and hopefully in churches.

            Our conversations about sex in the church have to be more than wait until you’re married.  We’re called to create safe spaces where people of all ages can talk about sexuality.  We have a safe space where we can talk about our bodies, or our desires, or we can ask questions of others.   

            I’m not at all deluded into thinking that conversations about sex are easy.  I’ve lived in Minnesota almost my entire life.  Minnesotans have a hard time talking about our bodies and our desires and our feelings. 

            There is a lot at stake in creating safe spaces where we can have conversations about a healthy sexuality in church.  If we don’t have conversations about sex in church where will these conversations take place?  On the Internet.  There is a lot of unhealthy conversation about sex on the Internet.  Or these conversations won’t happen.  Is there something wrong in not talking about sex?  Sexual desire does not go away.  We can try to repress sexual desire.  But like any emotion that repressed desire will find a way to come out.  Often it will come out in unhealthy ways.

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            A final response I want to share today about the church’s response to the #MeToo movement is to teach and lift up different images of what it means to be a male.  What is the ideal image of a man?  Is the ideal image of a male someone who is strong and athletic, someone who will play football at US Bank Stadium today?  Not all males are athletic.  Where does that leave them?  We need to teach and communicate important responses to questions like, What qualities of being a male are important?  What does it mean to be a male?  Who are role models for being a male?  What are the images of a male?

This could be an entire ministry. 

            The church must communicate to men that sexual harassment is never okay; sexual conquests are not okay.  No means no even in a married relationship.

            These are three ways the church can respond to the #MeToo movement

1.  Give space for women to share their stories

2.  Teach a healthy sexuality

3.  Help men come to terms about what it means to be a male

            Tarana Bruke and Alyssa Milano unleashed something important.  Today we’ve gathered to say that no person should experience rape or sexual harassment.  May all of us commit to creating this world.